(Warning: This is a work of student satire and is meant for entertainment purposes only.)
Everyone knows that track athletes require tight uniforms to be more arrow dynamic. Recently, Nike released the 2024 USA Olympic track uniforms that are very high waisted and, as many commentators have pointed out, revealing. Additionally, some reviews of the uniforms even stated the uniforms needed to be more patriotic.
So after this Nike decided to release a sneak peak of 2028 Olympic uniform. Some of the styles include a red, white, and blue starred Brazilian Bikini for the women and for the men a red and blue striped speedo with white paint splats. Additionally, both get the option of an American flag to tie around the neck during warm-ups.
While releasing the sneak peek Nike stated, “the less fabric the less wind resistance” and “If our athletes don’t place first then it must be a user error”.
People immediately showed concerns about the uniforms being to revealing and sexist or not meant for all the athletes; however, Nike was quick to address those concerns.
“In designing these new uniforms, we worked with the athletes personally,” Nike responded. “We made sure the uniforms fit appropriately to all body types or at least the ones that we prefer to see.”
Upon further investigation, it was revealed that Nike’s development team asked mainly men about their preference to gain more insight on the future of Olympic wear. Nike’s commitment to all genders is clearly present.