A Guide to Surviving Valentine’s Day as Single Person
February 9, 2023
(Warning: This is a work of student satire and is meant for entertainment purposes only.)
Finding yourself alone on Valentine’s Day again? Well VD isn’t just for couples; singles can celebrate it too! Remember, we’re not just celebrating the love for others but also love for ourselves. Even though single people often envy their friends’ date and wish they had their own, they should stop! Instead, they can follow these helpful tips to enjoy Valentines Day as a single pringle.
Tip #1 – Anonymous gifts
Imagine being called up to the front desk of your work or your school where a beautiful bouquet of red roses sits waiting — for who? You!! From whom? A “secret admirer”. Think about it, not only will all the girls in school be jealous of your “secret admirer” but, you will also have the knowledge that you paid good money for a good cause.
Tip #2 – Candlelit dinners for one
What is a more romantic way to spend your evening than at your favorite restaurant with a candle lit dinner—candles, spaghetti, and meat balls to give a little Lady and the Tramp effect, and of course, your favorite red dress. While you eat, you begin to gaze into the open slots of the empty seat in front of you while Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” plays ever so calmly in the background. You then smile as you realize this will be a night to remember. (If an empty chair doesn’t work for you, try placing a mirror in the chair so you can gaze deeply into the eyes of someone who truly loves you)
Tip #3 – Call family or friends. At least they will tell you they love you.
Everybody wants to hear somebody tell them that they love them, that they are just as important. During dinner, you can go out of your way to call your grandparents or your parents because nobody can provide you with comfort except for the people that have no choice but to love you. So, stop what you are doing; make that call and guilt them into saying those three magical words.
Satisfied yet? No?
Tip #4 – Share your love of single life.
After your dinner you should take it upon yourself to have a little fun too. While walking through a Walmart parking lot, leave an anxiety-inducing, yet loving, sticky note on people cars. Examples include “He’s cheating on you” or “she’s pregnant.” There are limitless ways to show your love and support of others on Valentines Day. Feel free to get creative with your own note.
In reality, Valentine’s Day has a negative effect on single people in that they feel pressured by society to be romantically involved, to spend more money than they want to, to go on dates, or to act like the holiday is meaningful to them, when it is not. To many single people, it feels a bit unfair being made to feel less than equal on Valentines Day just because of the “I’m single” status. Remember this when celebrating the day with your significant other and give those single friends a break.
Let’s keep the love open and the support flowin!